you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He shit in the fireplace
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
