Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize