I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
