I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
