No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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