I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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