Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
false alarm, still single
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
