sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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