I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
