If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
