do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Where is the hickey?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
two words: eviction party
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
