On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
