Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize