Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
