just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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