I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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