therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
