garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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