So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
