Well apparently he's into motor boating.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
