Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this just has baby written all over it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They took my balls.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
