Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
