I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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