I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
