You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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