I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
