Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
