goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
