dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
