oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
