yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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