just tell him i said nine months
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
