A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize