party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
