as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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