I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
