a queef is a wish your heart makes.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
