she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
