Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
