ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
