My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
