I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
