You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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