She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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