I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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