okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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