Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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