Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
