We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
