You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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