Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
