I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
