Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
