This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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