Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
