i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
