i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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