I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
