At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
