Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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