hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
