your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
